I Wish I Knew What You Would Say


As I lay in bed this morning, drifting in-between  sleep and awake, I thought to myself,” I WISH I knew what you would say.”

So each day I get up, and stare at you, looking for clues and asking myself 100 million questions, constantly.   I wonder if you, Noah, feel as crazy as I do at times?   I believe we were made for relationship.  As people, we were made to love and serve, entertain, and help one another.   Can two people really have a deep relationship without talking?  My head says, “no” but my heart says, “yes.”

I know that you “know” me Noah, and I am convinced that I “get” you.   I will never stop trying to unlock your voice, my precious one…..  Not ever, ever, ever, ever, until I go home to be with Jesus.  And if you are still here on earth when I leave it for good.     I want you to know, I am going to march myself straight to the Prince of Peace himself and get some long awaited answers.  Hopefully I can get you the miracle, full restoration healing, we have been praying for all this time!  Wow, what a story that would be, huh?

But wait…..What if the miracle is more about he we lived  day to day in the midst of our questions and pain?  What if THAT is the real story?

I only have one chance at this life and I don’t want to spend it in sadness. Quite simply because we all have so much to be thankful for.  I want to show as many Momma’s in this hurting world as I can, that there is a real HOPE, everyday.   In the midst of your suffering, loneliness, pain and questioning, you can have joy everyday.  Maybe not all day (because, let’s keep it real) but enough to keep you going…..breathing….moving forward…sustaining you and yours until the breakthrough comes.   Don’t give up.  Never give up!

That’s how I want to live.

A warrior for my Family……..

A lover of this life……..

A servant of others ………

A light in so much darkness………

Here is the sweetest joy….When my Noah giggles. Oh thank you Lord for his laughter.


” You are blessed when you care.  At the moment of being care-full, you find yourselves cared for” Matthew 5:7  the Message